Being better than you is better for us : attachment avoidance and social comparisons within romantic relationships

A growing body of literature suggests that individuals respond more positively when outperformed by their partner (an upward comparison) than when they outperform the partner (a downward comparison). However, these findings may not apply to individuals high in attachment avoidance due to their negative working models of others. In two studies, we investigated whether feelings of closeness following social comparisons to the romantic partner are moderated by attachment avoidance. Participants were asked to recall (Study 1) and imagine (Study 2) comparisons. Avoidant participants felt closer to their partners following a downward comparison relative to an upward comparison. These studies suggest that for avoidant individuals, outperforming their partners is more beneficial for the relationship than being outperformed by their partners.