I want to have a healthy life

I am a registered nurse but I am also a chronic pain sufferer. I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia since 2009. Joint stiffness, fatigue, generalized pain has become part of my life. I admit that getting a balance between the roles of a nurse and a chronic pain sufferer is absolutely a challenge to me. Ironically, when I assisted my patients to manage their pain, I was failing to manage my own. My stiff joints and knee pain particularly annoyed me and strongly influenced my daily life. When I went shopping on my own, I sometimes screamed in my heart, 'Can anybody help? I need a wheelchair!'. Walking liked a cripple was not funny, it was heaps of worries. I worried about how people viewed me. I worried about not being able to walk anymore when I got older. I worried about being home-bound one day. Pain killers were my last resort to resolve all my worries. Painkillers could kill my 'physical pain', however, they could not relieve my 'psychological pain'.