"Oh my god, I'm going to wet myself": gay and bisexual men negotiate incontinence during cancer

This chapter explores how incontinence after cancer is experienced and understood by LGBTIQ+ people, drawing on interview data from the Out with Cancer Study. While incontinence is a well-documented side effect of many cancer treatments, it is rarely discussed in depth in relation to sexual and gender minority populations. This chapter addresses that gap by examining how incontinence intersects with LGBTIQ+ identities, embodiment, sexuality, and experiences of healthcare. Participants described incontinence as deeply distressing, impacting physical comfort, emotional wellbeing, and social participation. These experiences were often intensified by gender dysphoria, histories of trauma, or prior marginalisation in healthcare. Incontinence challenged participants’ sense of bodily control, dignity, and identity – particularly when it disrupted engagement in sexual or intimate relationships, community spaces, or daily routines. Trans and non-binary participants reported significant challenges in managing incontinence in public spaces and in gendered settings. The chapter highlights the silence surrounding incontinence in cancer care and queer communities, with many participants reporting that it was not discussed by clinicians or addressed in post-treatment support. Shame and stigma were common, often linked to cultural taboos around bodily functions and perceptions of incontinence as a loss of autonomy or adulthood. Despite these challenges, participants developed personal and collective strategies for coping and adaptation, including humour, peer support, and practical management techniques. This chapter calls for greater recognition of incontinence as a significant survivorship issue that affects quality of life and gendered embodiment. It argues for inclusive, trauma-informed, and affirming care practices that acknowledge the diverse meanings and impacts of incontinence for LGBTIQ+ people. Addressing this neglected issue can support more respectful, responsive, and holistic cancer care.