Parental involvement and partnership with parents : 't'ain't what you do (it's the way that you do it)'

Many aspects of professional practice in early education require individuals to make judgements about how to balance competing arguments. This chapter examines some of the choices that professionals working with parents need to consider when they frame these relationships. The chapter briefly outlines the work of Baumrind (1996) on parenting styles, which underpins many parenting programmes. The chapter suggests that Baumrind's model, which advocates a middle course between authoritarian and too permissive parenting styles, may be in tension with political pressure to deliver formalised parenting courses. The title of this chapter is taken from the popular song, originally written in 1933 (Oliver and Yong, 1939). The lyric draws attention to the argument developed in this chapter; that the medium is the message and try as we might, with the best of intentions and the best planned resources, if we fail to connect with parents through respectful relationships little progress will be made.