Social comparisons within romantic relationships

In the present chapter, we discuss possible mechanisms through which upward comparisons may exert a positive impact in the context of a romantic relationship and the outcomes that these comparisons may have for interactions within the relationship (see also Locke, chapter 1, this volume). We propose that although comparisons may continue to inflict a self-evaluative sting, forcing individuals to recognize their inferiority in a given domain, individuals will nevertheless experience positive affect when their partner is successful. First, because individuals in romantic relationships are part of a dyad, they may be especially likely to experience reflection (Beach & Tesser, 1993; Beach et al., 1996, 1998; Mendolia, Beach, & Tesser, 1996), basking in the reflected glory of their partner’s achievements. Second, because individuals in romantic relationships, and marriages in particular, share at least some resources with their partner, they are especially likely to gain more tangible benefits when their partner is successful and to suffer losses when the partner experiences failure. Finally, because romantic relationships tend to be highly communal (Clark & Mills, 1993; Clark, Ouellette, Powell, & Milberg, 1987), individuals are especially likely to empathize with their partner (Mills, Clark, Ford, & Johnson, 2004), experiencing the partner’s happiness as their own. Thus, through the processes of reflection, sharing of outcomes, and empathy, individuals are likely to experience positive rather than negative affect in response to a more successful partner. We examine the evidence for each of these processes in the following sections.